Monday, November 8, 2010 / 6:36 PM
这样的节奏 谁都无可奈何;
TFOTD, true fact of the day.Yeah I've said it before and I'm going to say it again.
I wonder what I'm going to do with my life.
And what I'm going end up devoting my life to. Who I'll be thinking of every second of every minute.
Right now, my future's this big fat question mark waiting to be answered. I'm not sure where to start looking for answers to that. Nothing's leading me in the right direction and it's down to my instincts and what I want from myself. It's confusing and honestly, kind of unnerving. And these doubts just come to mind from time to time and...yeah. Had to think about it.
I look at my seniors then I look at myself and I see this startling difference.
Stupid seniors have got to stop being so, intimidating. Well, some of them anyway. Tsh. Maybe its not exactly intimidating, bur rather, accomplished. Just makes me feel like I'm not doing enough and "At least I did my best." isn't something I can say truthfully anymore.
Oh this reminds me of how this year's Sec Ones had this fangirl-a-senior thing going on at the beginning of the year. lolsrsly. It was amusing, but not something I admired. Or wanted any part of. Tsh.
Oh went for Rafflesian Spotlight at RI the other night. It was.....okay. I mean, it was good but I'm not gonna make an overstatement. Loved the song written by last year's winner. Found it on tumblr through Facebook and had it on replay most of the afternoon. Does She Know. It's one of the sweetest songs I've heard in a while (an english one, nonetheless) and really, the guy should record it as a single and release it. Even if just to see what happens. Cos I think it's really good. And he sings it well, it ain't perfect but it's good all the same.
The judges were way harsh on some acts. Especially Annalise.
OH Nicole found her Ong imitation. Hehe. (He really really looks like Seulong. Side profile, cheekbones, everything cept for the eyes)
Oh and the comedy wasn't stupid. ShawnTan's like a junior Kwon. Comedy's supposed to be funny and not intelligent. And it was funny. Really. And thats comedy.
Other than that I don't think there's anything else I have to say about RS.
But it was a night not spent curled up on the sofa with the TV on almost the whole day. Korean dramas ftw. -.- But Brilliant Legacy/Shining Inheritance is goood. It's like, long and kinda draggy but the kind of good all the same. Heh. Seunggi's (y) But tbh I can't get through the last four episodes of MGIAG cos my brain can't accept Seunggi liking two girls at once. And when I prefer him with Han HyoJu...well, sorry to Shin MinAh then.
Oh I always thought kpop would be the fandom to scare me the most.
Ohwell. It turns out that I'm kinda scared to be absolutely in likeloveshiz with Gui okays. But, nothing to be done about it really. I'm all in and there's nothing to be done to take me away from him. Plus he's the best thing to happen to me these years, along with 501. So...yupp. Nothing much to complain about, seeing all the good things he's brought to my life. And how he changed so many aspects of my thinking.
Thankful? I guess I am.
I thank God that I have them for my inspiration and motivation. When nothing else is there to convince me that all the hard work's worth it, they're there to show me how there's never a reason to give up. I don't know about others but if thats the reason behind me being a fangirl then I think fangirls are one heck of a bunch of motivated people. But no, sadly, too many are throwing their lives away to get more of the glamorous entertainment circle. It makes me sad.
On a side note, fanboys are weird. I mean, fangirls are perfectly normal and okay and accepted. But fanboys, are a different matter. When a girl screams about how Onew's smexy smile, it's just different from a guy commenting on Jessica's legs. One's just, being a Shawol but the other's a horny Sone.
See the difference?
Yeah.
I don't know why either.
It just is.
A division to point out how disjointed this post is.
Teo PohPoh called my mummy today. Mummy didn't give me away butttt told me to get to school. But daddy was nice and agreed to help me go down to settle everything.
Nice daddy was nice. Awesome mummy was bad.
Oh yes that was spastic.
Shall venture off on yet another topic.
I found someone's blog. Yes I kind of know who that person is but it's definitely not a mutual acquaintance. But well, I don't know. I can....understand him. No it's not that his posts are thoughtful and insightful or whatever. They're simple and not like, deep. But it's like how I'd like to post. Just whatever comes to your mind about all the everyday things in your life. At the same time not posting about your day. Just little samples of the thoughts that go through your mind.
I wish there was this, aura sorta thing, which could show the world who you really are. Display your thoughts in its entirety, boiled down to its very essence with nothing to take the focus off your opinion. Then there wouldn't be any worries over a wrong judgement passed. But it'd still be up to others to decide what they think of what they think.
Oh yeah, and something displaying who was meant to be with who.
A match made even before you were born, embedded in your DNA. And if you could see that all so clearly there wouldn't be a need for heartbreaks and needless upset.
And there is me going off point again. I really wonder who actually reads the crap I throw here. Ahwell.
"Kay,blogging from my iPod. I feel so high techish.
Anyways, I’ve been studying chem and physics and realized I don’t know so much stuff. But I realized here’s when optimism can make me feel much better. Instead of ripping my hair out and fretting over the massive mountain of stuff I don’t know, I’m thankful I came across them so I wouldn’t freak out during exams for not knowing. Make sense? It’s kinda like the half empty/ half fult l analogy. Just that this one’s more practical, I mean even the most pessimistic chump doesn’t use the word half empty. No one does."
I'm kinda worried that someone'll find out about me quoting that.
But since that probably won't happen....hmm.
That quote probably didn't mean anything to you.
But I understand what I mean when I admire the outlook on life which the person portrays through the posts. Not too much thought put into things which don't require agonizing over.
Meh. I wish I was more like that.
I just wish it were easier.
Labels: ramblings, saranghaeyo, school
