Monday, June 14, 2010 / 11:46 PM
Oxygen; Forever.
SS501, 5 forever united as 1.
Forever.
Thats the
only word, which I can use to assure myself that nothing's gonna happen to them.
I've never let the rumours and possibility worry me.
But, seeing them cry like that. It's getting scary. What if Destination's their last album as SS501?
I cannot think of one day when they aren't SS501, an official group.
They'll always be bonded, stronger than any other. But, they just can't not be SS501.
Yes, Gui has been this big part of my life.
But SS501 is the epicenter of everything.
If I say I only have Gui in my heart, then Kyu's my Heart. My whole, entire heart. He's, just. I can't describe how, important he is. It's not just that I really like him. Like's an understatement anyway. I need him there. Just,
there.
Gui's my personal brand of cocaine, my morphine.
But SS501's my oxygen. I take them for granted, sometimes. I forget how important they are to me. But I breath them, and when it matters, I know what they mean to me. And how I can never
ever give them up. You know how you kinda forget about oxygen, yeah. But when you don't have it, you'll know how stupid you've been.
It's simple.
501 is part of me. Not only my life, me. I wouldn't be who I am today if not for them. And no, I'm not talking about me being a fangirl. It's who I am as a person. Not the Natalie I am in public, but the Natalie I know I am.
501 will be Forever. Not just another fandom.
Until Forever has given me this, melancholy feeling. Ever since the first time I heard it. Even though I don't know what the lyrics are, it just gives me this feeling like. They will always be there, even if they're not SS501 anymore. They will love TripleS, always. TripleS will never stop being TripleS, cos thats who we are. But the thing is, I don't want them not to be SS501.
Not so soon, at least.
I'll believe in Leader. I can only blindly believe that they'll never seperate. I have no other choice, do I? Not when I see Min cry like that. When he
never cries, for the sake of his fans. He always laughs it off, pretends to be stronger than he is.
Who is he fooling.
Baby, he held in his tears so badly.
Who am I to cry when he's not allowing himself to, for us.
Leader, who said "Saranghamnida" to TripleS, when such words don't come easily nor naturally to him.
Saeng, whom hardly showed any sign of grief. But from the look on his face, you could tell that he was just short of overflowing.
Kyu, words are useless in his case okay.
Everything they do, I don't think they actually think for themselves.
Always, always TripleS first.
When TripleS comforted Min, I really felt like I was part of this great group of people. People who will always be behind the 5 men we love. TripleS is one, I really feel it.
It isn't easy to state out why I love them.
If I have to, I will. But I'll scare myself. I don't fully understand it yet, but when/if I see the full extent of how much I'm dependent on Kyu Jong, Jung Min, Young Saeng, Hyun Joong and Hyung Jun, I don't know if I'll believe it. It won't be something insignificant, it'll be spectacular.
If I lose them, it wouldn't suffice if I said that it'll be like losing a part of myself. Something in me would snuff out and die, same as everyone else who truly believes in what they stand for.
I'm starting to look down on the power of the written language.
They don't express it fully, some things just can't be described with language.
TripleS and SS501 are one. Forever.
Never forget. Who am I to cry, when they don't allow themselves to.
Labels: 501love, kyukyu
