Sunday, June 27, 2010 / 9:58 PM
陪你今天明天 陪你到底;
Where is the sense in saying that I'm in the wrong for not changing my attitude and thinking to suit my surroundings?
RGS does have this big fat problem with its system.
But I never said that its wrong for everybody, right. I'm just saying, that I do not like the system and environment in RGS. I don't like the purpose of my life being only the results I get back at the end of the day. I don't like that the school restricts us so much. I don't like the school, because I'm just not the kind to be suited in this kind of school.
And it ends up being my wrong for not being able to adapt to the extremely over-competitiveness of my class in my school. It ends up being some kind of fucked up attitude problem.
Hello, who was the one who insisted that I enter such a school?
You, not me.
You say I chose RGS over NYGH.
But was there really any difference? Will there be any difference in the outcome. I cannot learn in this environment. Yes, I study, but I'm not really learning anything other than what is taught in the curriculum.
And I'm not talking about the curriculum that the teachers go through. I'm talking about the curriculum that all RG girls have to go through outside of class, by themselves, in order to score well as compared to the other students in RG.
My ability isn't as high as them, and thats a fact that you should resign to.
They say that getting into the GEP gets to the heads of the students.
But I think that it's gotten into your head more than mine.
You really think I'm better than the other students? You really think that it's expected of me to excel in everything you think I'm good at, don't you.
You speak of a 3.7GPA like its so fucking easy.
Like only an imbecile won't be able to achieve it.
My dear mother, a 3.37GPA is satisfactory. For me. You know why? Because I know I deserved it. I know, I worked for every of that 3.37. If I'd gotten a 3.7 I'd be fucking questioning the grading system of this supposedly prestigious school.
And when I say I'm happy with my 3.37 you say I have this fucked up negative attitude towards my studies and my ability.
Yes, I admit that I do not have confidence in myself to score as high as my classmates. But thats only because I know where my standard lies. I admit that most of the time, I could probably do better. But I don't think its wrong to have a lack of confidence.
It just happens to you when you're in a school like RG.
Just like when I was in GEP, and everybody was so fucking smart.
Just that now it's worse.
10 times worse,
a hundred.
I cannot believe you can use the way I walk as something that displays my attitude.
I don't even know how I walk, and I don't actually mean anything through the way I walk, do I? I don't even walk with a hunch.
-I can't believe I have to defend my gait okay wtf.
I don't even want to talk about how unrespectful towards the elders you think I am.
First of all, you don't even give me examples of when I was supposedly rude.
And it's not like you're giving a fine example for me to learn from.
It's not like your attitude towards your life is that great.
Your attitude towards everything is just exemplary, isn't it?
And it's not like I want my father to speak up for me. Not like I actually whine to him okay.
Not like how
she whines to you about every-fucking-thing she wants.
And how you always, always give in.
I don't think it's for you to say anything about how I hide behind my father and use him against you.
I'm not being this jealous bitch okay, but I cannot stand the bull thats coming out of your mouth
Fucking PMS-ing okay.
Goodnight mother.
My bag is packed and my homework's not printed.
I'm all ready for school, am I not.
I care, more than anything.
I care.
I can't not, can I.
